# When to see a therapist (and when you don't need to)

People send me DMs asking *"is my situation bad enough to see someone?"* and the answer is almost never about *bad enough*.

## You probably don't need therapy if:

- You and your partner argue sometimes. All couples argue.
- You have had a dry spell of a few weeks or months during a stressful season. Normal.
- Your desires don't match perfectly. They don't for anyone.

## It's worth one session if:

- You have tried two or three things and nothing moves.
- You notice yourselves avoiding a specific topic, week after week.
- One of you is quietly unhappy but can't name why.

## Please see someone (not necessarily me) if:

- There has been any coercion, pressure, or unsafety — even once.
- Either of you is experiencing pain during intimacy that hasn't resolved.
- There's ongoing shame so heavy it affects your day-to-day.
- One partner has a mental health condition that isn't being treated.

## Finding someone

Ask for a licensed therapist (RCI, AASECT, or equivalent). A first session is a vibe check — if you don't click with them, try another. You are not stuck with the first therapist you meet.

Therapy is not about being broken. It's about moving faster than you can alone.